Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
