Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.