I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
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Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.