How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize