just tell him i said nine months
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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