Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
