Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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