I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
