At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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