Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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