so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
