I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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