I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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