woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
