some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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