what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
