are you still at the devil's house?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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