There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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