I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize