Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
