you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
