I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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