Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
