I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
