I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
