my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
