I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
