That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
