My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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