I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize