yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize