Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
