Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
