Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
