Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
