Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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