someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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