My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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