im drinking this country out of the recession.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
