i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
