im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
