Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
