OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
