Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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