All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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