i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
