If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
