which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
