I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
