Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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