I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
the raccoons are back...
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