Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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