The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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