I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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