but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize