i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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