i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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