her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
