so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
