I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
