they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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