He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
tell me about the eggs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
