You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
