i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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