just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
