Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize