god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize