Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
