ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Barsexuality is the new black.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
